After the start of autumn,
the birthday season and All’ Hallows Eve,
I woke up from my early winter sleep
and I heard that soon, you will too.

25 days till December

Being here without your soft whispers,
it really makes me feel so nervous and blue.
At least I've proved them all wrong, because
I can survive summer, without you.

108 days till December

Why does it have to be like this?
I wish it was more like, “I’m taking leave,
but I’ll be back before you start missing me.”

118 days till December

I took a 5 hour bus ride- to explore Paris in the rain.
And then again, sadness took over before
I could get a step closer to euphoria.

129 days till December

It must be magical when you come back home.
I imagined it as an un-birthday in our own wonderland,
like drinking coffee, instead of tea, with the mad hatter.

135 days till December

I wore my hair in a ponytail,
every single day since the day you’ve left, because I knew how you adored that,
and also to keep that as a souvenir always with me; those little traces of you-
like a permanent fingerprint you’ve left behind.

141 days till December

I sang a swan song for you,
but you've been chasing empty daydreams again.
It was the end of a new era; a second new start.

167 days till December

June brought new adventures,
We felt that summer was very close.
And I saw your mother the other day,
but I don’t think she recognized me.

181 days till December

Summer was coming up and painted her eternal skies in a bright blue.
I felt like tearing pages out of books in my head,
while I am still thinking of you.

196 days till December

I did a little travelling through the country by train,
while reading your letters about the happy places you’ve been to.
And the spring was never any prettier.
And you promised to come back soon.

212 days till December

I think I fell in love with you on the third Saturday in February,
the week before the great carnival was in the country.
But I didn’t know that a heart could be broken,
I was only eleven

260 days till December

The boys were pushing drugs at the schoolyards,
while we sat on the bathroom floor, skipped our late classes
and wasted away with filter cigarettes and lack of soul.

270 days till December

Going through summer stories.
The photographs of lakes and bonfires are loud, even though they’re fading.
Everything is fading, everything is slipping through my hands.

280 days till December

The season change brought all the birds back,
in the baby blue skies, above the parks filled with trees.
And all the boys started chasing the girls again,
the girls with flowers in their braided hair.

289 days till December

And the letters you kept sending me are like ghosts;
Tiny reflections of you that make me think that you are near.
But you’re not. You are not here.

295 days till December

I got your package today with the post; a dress with flower patterns.
And a little note, “I’d buy you real flowers if I could."
You are gone for five weeks now.

300 days till December

The circus left the city and took the snow with him.
And he took you too. The house became quiet and lonely,
but the smell of books replaced the smell of you.
And I can't say if I’m fine with that.

333 days till December.